he stands along the beach,
staring far off the distance.
staring at the setting sun,
he slowly drifts into the water.
he wanders without a thought,
just slowly wandering, aimlessly forward
he looks down, looking down below him,
he sees the waves brush against his feet,
all he feels is his hope slowly washing away.
he strides silently forward,
forward into the cold sea,
forgetting all reason,
all he feels is emptiness.
he treads further on,
turning his back on his past,
ignoring all advice,
he seeks to live a new life.
it happens again.
the same story, the same people, the same ending.
everything happens again and again.
can i truly run away from it all. or am i just going to keep falling further and further into the hole that i dug myself. am i just losing myself to the inner demons. letting the pain inside me materialise. letting it take shape. letting it become real.
i'm lost. i don't know what it means to live anymore. i'm just so confused as to where this this life leading. its just all a mess to me. everything is a blur. i'm just a small boy living in a world too big for me. everything is happening too fast for me. so fast that i don't know what to do anymore.
everyday i just put my life on hold, living it by the day. but yet with each passing day, it feels colder than ever. with each growing day, i feel emptier inside. it just seems to hard to live this life anymore. what am i living it for anyway. i don't know. i'm wandering this tunnel of darkness with no exit. with no shinning ray of light to guide me. i'm just running forward, into an abyss. into a oblivion with no salvation.
i don't know what goes on anymore. i don't know what i'm doing with my own life. it feels as if i'm justing running this lonely race, walking this journey alone. It feels so empty, so lifeless, so dead. no one is there. maybe no one was there before. maybe no one ever exisited. maybe i'm just living in this world alone.
alone. maybe thats all there is too it. maybe. just maybe. there is nothing more to this life than being alone. nothing more. maybe thats what my life is going to be, alone. empy, void.
everything is just a blur, everything. nothing makes sense anymore. gone are the childlike innocence and naiveity, replaced by the cynical and harden heart. nothing exist in this life anymore. its just a charade, an endless costume party that never concludes, a dance that never stops, a song that fades, a horror that never subsides.
its just so painful, to bear all this, to carry all this alone. its so painful... so scary, so lonely. maybe this is what i brought onto myself. maybe this is all that i deserver. maybe.
ayuzero went searching for the answer at 7:49 PM
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