he stands along the beach,
staring far off the distance.
staring at the setting sun,
he slowly drifts into the water.
he wanders without a thought,
just slowly wandering, aimlessly forward
he looks down, looking down below him,
he sees the waves brush against his feet,
all he feels is his hope slowly washing away.
he strides silently forward,
forward into the cold sea,
forgetting all reason,
all he feels is emptiness.
he treads further on,
turning his back on his past,
ignoring all advice,
he seeks to live a new life.
wow its been almost a month since I last blogged. SO much has happened in between. Exams, made new frens, went SG IDOL! met new people, made new enemeys and so many other things. It just feels weird that so many things have happened. I don't know if I have really grown over this past few months. I've been dormat in my writing but committed to learning and perfecting my guitar. I just seem to have new resolutions and lose interest in my old hobbies. I just feel insecure about my direction in life. I havent been really able to word my feelings for a long time now. To put it simply, I have been having insecurity bouts. I just start having doubts over alot of things, even if my outer self does not exhibit this traits. I guess I'm so used 2 keeping everything inside that I look almost fine. I also realise how little friends I have. Yes there are people that are very close to me, but I cannot help but feel envious of those people who have plenty of friends. Maybe I'm gregarious. -shrugs- I really don't know myself anymore. I told someone I wana be a proffessional actor or director but yet deep down I do not know if I even have the potential or quality to do so. I'm having alot of self doubt nowadays that sometimes i zone out totally. I need time to really see where my life takes me. Time is something I don't have. Many don't realise that Adulthood starts at 16 . I have got to figure out my life's destination before I miss the train leaving for it. I cannot afford to play around and treat life as a game anymore. I wonder if I have spent and wasted too much time. I doubt myself as to my ablity to cover the lost ground. Maybe i need someone to guide me, to take me along the way, to show me what I need to see. I've not exactly lived a happy life blessed with friends. I still have my insecruities over that lack of friends, now coupled with my life goal, i Just cannot seem to figure it out anymore. I really need someone to help me out.
p.s.: sorry for the long n stupid, nonsensical post, i really dont know how 2 express what i'm feeling. oh ya... to those that are feeling down .. cheer up ok? don't give up on your dream!
P.S.2: on a ligthter note, i've fianlly, officially, actually, seriously, given up on her. ya? great for me right? oh yea! ... haha.. I know i've said it many times but hopefully this time I can make it? =D haha..
ayuzero went searching for the answer at 1:41 AM
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